Hell Sings For Death!
by AkumaKami64
Summary: Junior stumbles across a certain abridged series on his computer. Grim Reaper Junior plus Hellsing Ultimate Abridged equals This. Bye-bye sanity! "Excuse me, I'm a F***Mothering Demon-Reaper! I ate a lot of souls to get that title and I deserve to be referred as such!" Rated for Cursing, Killing, Soul Eating, Hilarity, and Junior being a Total A**.
1. Yes, I DO Just Walk Into Mordor!

Hell Sings for Death!

Disclaimer: I Don't Own Grim Tales, Hellsing Ultimate, Hellsing Ultimate Abridged, or anything else that shows up here.

Summary: Junior stumbles across a certain abridged series on his computer. Grim Reaper Junior + Hellsing Ultimate Abridged= This. Bye-bye sanity! "Excuse me, I'm a F***Mothering Demon-Reaper! I ate a lot of souls to get that title and I deserve to be referred as such!" Rated for Cursing, Killing, Soul Eating, Hilarity, and Junior being a Total A$$.

Regular speak

_Thoughts in Minds_

**Demonic or Animalistic Speak**

_**Demonic or Animalistic Thoughts**_

"Mistress? We have a situation..." Pain called with uncertainty, his face appearing on the security computer Mandy had installed in her own bedroom.

"What is it now, Charles? If another of my bottles broke, I'm going to fire that delivery company- literally," She asked in annoyance.

Charles was about to answer when, to Mandy's slight surprise, Grim pushed him out of the way, "Mandy! Get yer ass downstairs now!" Grim called over the screen.

"Calm your skull, Bonehead. What's wrong?" She asked evenly.

"It's Junior, he jus appeared in de cour yar!" Grim answered.

Mandy raised an eyebrow at that. Sure, it was surprising that Junior teleported in some form, but not too surprising given the whole Reaper-Beast issue from a week ago, "So? He's learning how to use his powers, big deal," She asked with a shrug.

"He's covered from head ta toe in blood," The Reaper answered grimly.

"...I'll be right down," Mandy answered, her eyes widening a fraction of an inch.

When Mandy got down to the court yard, she wasn't sure what to expect. A traumatized son? A raving Nergal possessing Junior? Hell, she could even take him being perfectly okay, having fallen into a river of blood by accident. What she got, on the other hand, was not what she expected.

Junior was standing in the middle of the court yard, the guards giving him a wide birth. There he stood looking completely human...except for two small details. He was grinning a shark-tooth grin like a complete loon and green, scythe-tipped tentacles slowly slid out like serpents from his back, as if daring anyone to approach. The blood, as Grim had mentioned, covered every inch of him…green demon blood.

"Junior?" Mandy called cautiously.

"Hold on!" Junior interrupted swiftly, "Wait for it...," He said promptingly as a green portal opened up over head, a familiar scream ringing out as a body fell through, which he caught in his tentacles, "There we go. Took you long enough, Ragdoll," Junior said with a grin.

"Pardon, Brother, but I am unused to the changes to mine person...," Minnie answered a bit woozily as she stood up slowly on her own two feet...

"What. The. Fucking. Hell?" Mandy said slowly as the jaws of everyone else hit the floor, "Junior, explain, now!" She ordered to her grinning, possibly insane child.

"Okay...but you have to let me finish," Junior answered, practically bursting with glee...

_**Flashback- Junior POV**_

_It all started with a walk through Hell. The flames were hot, the screams were delicious, and I was dying to sink my scythe into something. Hehehe, Get it? Because I'm a Reaper!...Shut up, it's funny!_

_"So, you finally arrived!" Someone called out to me, in a loud and almost goofy voice, as I approached the red shores of the River of Acheron._

_"What?" I asked; both to what he was talking about and what the fuck I was looking at. At first, I thought he was HIM as he was red all over. However, unless HIM suddenly shrunk a few feet and gained a few hundred pounds, I don't think that was HIM- or that they're even related. This idiot has red eyes with yellow instead of whites, pointed horn-like ears on his head, a tiny tail with an arrow on it and a giant ass. Just to clarify, I only mention the ass because...this guy is naked, I mean not even a hair on him. Talk about a mood killer._

_"I was wondering when you would arrive!" He said with a very annoying chuckle, showing off his perfectly straight white teeth. With a snap of his fingers, about a dozen scrawny little humanoid-demons appeared, each with a knife in their hands. I already knew what they are- Hell Minions. These guys are the lowest of the low in terms of demons down here. If this guy is trying to impress me, he's off to a bad start, "After all, your sister is getting lonely." He said as he pulled out Minnie's Ragdoll body from behind him, tied up and gagged. To my credit, I resisted the urge to growl and just kill this guy immediately when I saw that Minnie's arm was half way cut off._

_I made an uninterested hum of acknowledgement. I mentally wondered for a moment what the royal fuck Minnie was doing here, but guessed she followed me in through my portal without me knowing and had been spying on me. This guy's goons probably just jumped her all at once. Right now, I'm just wondering what this shitcake's game is, hence why I'm just letting him rant off._

_"I think I might have some fun with her," He added on perversely, licking his lips as Minnie squirmed in his grasp, looking to me pleadingly, "Might not last long with this body of hers..."_

_"Neat," I retorted blandly, but my Nergal is just itching to pop out now. Something Minnie can probably tell, I hope. But seriously, THAT was what the guy's plan was?! What kind of idiot kidnaps a princess of the underworld and- Ohhhh! This sorry excuse for a demon didn't know who he was shitting with. You know, I was almost tempted to just drag him back to Mom and see what she'd do to him…almost._

_"But first I'm going to let my boys here have their fun with you!" He declared cheerfully._

_"Oh? See, that would be intimidating if you were...well, intimidating!" I said with a smirk as he blinked._

_"Are you mocking me?" He asked, clear agitated, but more confused by my lack of fear._

_"No, no...ch, __**Yeah!**__" I answered as I nergalized, dozens of scythacles shooting out and making a beeline straight for him. They impaled the red idiot, missing Minnie perfectly as I ripped out his soul._

_"W-wait! Stop! Please, I didn't know who you were! I swear!" He pleaded desperately, probably realizing who we were, as his soul clawed at the ground in a futile attempt to avoid what I'm about to do. His eyes went wide in horror as he saw me raise my right arm, the tentacles growing in size and length before they split open and grew teeth, taking on the form of a giant head with dozens of eyes all over and jagged teeth, along with a black abyss in the back of the throat, "No, please! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" He squealed in a very high pitched voice, now in the mouth, "No! No! N-!" He tries to cry out, only for the mouth to snap shut._

_"Yuck, that didn't even taste good," I said to myself in slight disgust as I wrinkled my nose and de-Nergalized before heading up to Minnie. To my disappointment, the minions left the moment I Nergalized- I needed something to get rid of the taste of that Red Guy, "Hey Ragdoll, you okay?" I asked in concern as I cut her bonds._

_"Y-yes, sorry for troubling ye, Brother," She said, a bit shaken by what she just saw. Or, more likely, by whom just did it._

_"Oh, it's no trouble," I answered with a chuckle, "But next time you want to come along, ask instead of stalking me. Seriously, that's just creepy," I chastised. By the look on her face, she wasn't sure how respond to that, but was clearly embarrassed, "I'm going to guess you don't have a thread and needle under that skirt of yours?" I asked with a smirk. Minnie glared and blushed lightly before shaking her head, "Well, lucky for you, I know someone that can help with that, Ragdoll," I assured with a grin._

_"Must thou keep referring to me by the state of my soul's current vessel?" Minnie asked, a bit annoyed at this point with the nickname._

_"Would you prefer Princess?" I asked with a smirk, getting a long pause._

_"...Ragdoll it is!" She declared. Minnie really is a smart one- she can tell I have a hundred ways to make her hate being called Princess all the time by me. But I want to save those up for someone else- I'm bound to meet at least one spoiled princess, after all._

_"I thought you'd see it my way. Now, let's get a move on! I got places to be and people to eat!" I said with a grin as I tossed her over my shoulder and headed up river, "Hey Charon! We need a lift! Hold the damn boat or I'll rip you head off and punt it down to Dis!..."_

_**End Flashback, Normal POV**_

The entire court yard was in absolute silence, everyone too shocked to say anything to that story. Of course, while everyone else was gaping like idiots, Grim and Charles included, Mandy just looked annoyed with a twitching eyebrow, "So... that's your story then?" She asked slowly, trying to process and comprehend what she was hearing.

"Yup," Junior answered instantly, grinning toothily at her with his fangs.

"You went for a walk in Hell?" She asked to clarify.

"Yup," He answered again.

"Proceeded to reap and eat one-hundred seventy demons while you were down there..." She continued

"One-hundred eighty," He corrected smugly.

Mandy sighed as she looked over to her sheepish daughter, "And after Minnie got torn up a bit, you took her down to the second circle and somehow got Lilith to turn her into a-," Mandy started again, only for Junior to interrupt.

"Big-titted Adult Ragdoll, yes, like I didn't just get done explaining this," Junior answered with a roll of his eyes, clearly annoyed with having to go over this a second time. Once again, every single soul was shocked into silence over Junior's attitude, Grim even looking ready to drop his scythe in pure amazement.

Mandy, on the other hand, wasn't really thinking about how her son had just disrespected her in front of the entire castle, "Minnie...is all of that true?" She asked as she took in Minnie's form. MiniMandy had officially inherited her looks, and then some.

Minnie now stood just a few inches shorter than her. The back of her hair had grown, or extended more likely, and now went down to between her shoulder blades while still having the horn shaped hairstyle on the side. Most notibly, Minnie now sported a bust that was at least E cups, bordering on F cups, at least two sizes bigger than Mandy's, and had a much more plump and firm rear.

"A-aye, Mother, Brother speaketh the truth," Minnie admitted, a bit sheepishly, trying to pull her dress down a bit, as it was far too short for her liking now, "I am still...adjusting to my shift in gravity," She said awkwardly as she wobbled a bit.

"Well, look at the bright side. You get to skip puberty and still reap all the benefits!" Junior pointed out, "And those are big benefits," He added with a smirk.

"Brother!" Minnie squealed in protest with a blush, standing stiff as a board, afraid if she leaned over, someone would see that she had accidentally left her underwear back in Hell...

"I...have only one question," Grim said after a moment, getting everyone's attention, "How, exactly, did ya convince Lilid ta do dis fer ya?" He asked curiously.

"Oh, I just gave her exactly what she wanted," Junior answered offhandedly as Minnie blushed scarlet and looked at her feet.

The screeching in everyone's mind was actually audible. Mandy actually blinked in surprise with wider eyes, as she processed the meaning of THAT. Charles, of all people, fell backwards, unconscious with a nosebleed. Grim just kept on staring and by the looks of it, Junior was eating it all up.

"...Well, got anything to say, Mom?" Junior asked, blinking as she just stood there, not moving an inch, "Mom?" He called as he walked over to her, sprouted tentacles to put him up to her height, and waved his hand in front of her face, "I think I broke her!" Junior said with a victorious chuckle...only to get punched in the face by Mandy, resulting in him landing on his back several feet away, "Worth it!" He yelled, pointing a finger into the sky as if to affirm his statement, before blinking, "I think my boner's back," He muttered to himself.

"I quit," Mandy said suddenly in an even and dry tone, holding up her hands as if in surrender. "You left me speechless. Take that and hang it on your wall. For now, I'm going back to my room, pouring myself a drink, and finding a new wardrobe for Minnie," She said bluntly as she turned to head back inside.

"Can I come?" Junior asked curiously, almost hopeful, making Mandy pause for a moment.

"...Fuck it, sure," Mandy answered after a moment, the eleven year old bounding after her. Minnie stood there awkwardly before running inside and to her room, not liking all the attention on her, "After you take a bath!" She added in, remembering he was covered in blood and didn't want it all over the place.

"Not a problem," Junior assured as he followed after her, the blood starting to vanish as his Nergal drank it through the skin.

"...Okay, I'll admit it," Grim said after a moment, "I haven't seen stranga den dis," He confessed as he headed back in as well, "Now, where de fook did I pu my cyanide?"

**End of Chapter**

There we go, ladies and gents! First chapter of Hell Sings For Death! AKA The Fuckmothering Demon-Reaper. Lot of credit to my Beta, Dragon Wizard

Yes, as you can see, Junior has developed an attitude VERY similar to Abridged Alucard. And he does have his own material, as you can tell. For example: 180 demons? Final Destination Reference. Also, yes, that was The Red Guy from Cow and Chicken. Seemed appropriate for this scene.

No, this is NOT going to be an exact copy from Hellsing Ultimate Abridged. Its more that it inspired this. Don't worry, I have more than a few surprises for you all.

But, yes, I have turned Junior into a trolling ass who loves to screw with people- apparently in more ways than one. So, in other words, Abridged Alucard. And yes, he somehow got the Original Sex Demoness to turn Minnie into an Adult Ragdoll with bigger breasts than his mother. Take that however you want. Also, if it isn't clear, Junior killed and ate the rest of the 180 demons on the way down to the second circle.

And, if you haven't figured out, Minnie/Ragdoll is going to be Seras/Police Girl for a lot of this.

I would leave you all with several Questions to Ponder, but let's face it, something like this has too many questions to ponder. So, I'm just going to leave you with these four:

1. How are Mandy, Grim, and Minnie going to handle/respond to Junior's new personality?

2. How are the Afterlives going to respond to THIS kind of nightmare?

3. You think Minnie likes her new body?

4. ...What the flaming hell did Junior (do with/give to) Lilith?!


	2. Sorry, I'm NOT Self-Cleaning!

Hell Sings for Death!

Disclaimer: I Don't Own Grim Tales, Hellsing Ultimate, Hellsing Ultimate Abridged, or anything else that shows up here.

**REVIEW RESPONSE AT THE BOTTOM**

Regular speak

_Thoughts in Minds_

**Demonic or Animalistic Speak**

_**Demonic or Animalistic Thoughts**_

"Huh, that's surprising. I was expecting there to be a bottle of Dragon's blood in here," Junior commented thoughtfully as he looked into Mandy's personal wine cabinet.

"Is that the latest rumor about me?" Mandy asked, uninterested as she sat on her bed with an open bottle of wine in one hand and a glass in the other.

"Actually, I think the latest involved something with a dickgirl in a SM hood behind a bookcase," Junior informed with a grin as he took a seat next to her.

"Who started that one?" Mandy asked curiously as she took a drink of wine, not batting an eye at the statement.

"Mindy," Junior answered, making Mandy stiffen while taking another drink.

"Now I know that's a lie," Mandy accused with a light glare.

"Oh? How's that?" Junior asked teasingly.

"...I'm starting to hate this new attitude," Mandy said with a twitching eyebrow.

"Ohhh, don't lie, I know I smelled your cunt drooling like Cerberus over a bone when you saw all that blood all over me," Junior countered playfully.

"Sooooo, you going to give me even a semi-plausible explanation for this change in character?" Mandy asked curiously as she poured herself another glass.

"Nope!" Junior cheered as he snatched the bottle of wine out of her hand, proceeding to lean back and guzzle it like a baby bottle.

"All you had to do was ask," Mandy said blankly as she pulled out another bottle of the same brand from under her bed before taking a sip of her own glass. "You do realize this might be a problem though, right?" She asked evenly with a raised eyebrow as Junior practically sucked out half the alcohol in his bottle.

"I have a full stomach, I enjoyed my walk, I had a visit with Lilith, I got a Big-Titted Ragdoll, and I'm having a drink with a MILF. Apart from lingering, bad aftertaste from that red guy, I can't see any problems in my unlife," Junior answered with a grin, licking the wine off his lips.

"I tried to keep the whole Reaper-Beast incident in Halloween Town under wraps. With this...walk of yours, it's going to be harder to maintain any secrecy. And then Devil only knows the things that will start coming after you if you keep doing stuff like that. Demons, Angels, Ghosts, Hunters, Gods even," Mandy pointed out, gauging his reaction.

"Sounds like an all you can eat buffet." Junior answered as his right hand's middle finger turned into a tentacle and wormed itself into the bottle, before opening up into a small mouth and drinking the alcohol.

Mandy raised an eyebrow at that, both the retort and action, but didn't comment, "Do you really think you're prepared for the shit you might get yourself into, Boy?" She asked in a challenging tone.

Junior chuckled at that as his grey and blue eyes turned into green, slit eyes, "In any other situation, you might have had a point. Except I've gone walking in Hell twice before today, I guarded an injured Minnie through two of Hells circles, and I am more prepared than you _**EVER**_ were! So, in other words Mother? Your argument is invalid!" Junior responded with a growling snicker.

"You mess up my bed, you die," Mandy warned as she drowned the last of her glass and opened up the second bottle. "The only reason I haven't shot you yet is because I suspect you'd enjoy that," She added on with a snort.

"Whatever you say, Pinkie," Junior said with a grin as he removed his finger from the empty bottle and deNergalized it.

"Any particular reason why I should even allow you to continue these walks?" Mandy asked.

"Hmmm, well, I could start taking walks around the castle. Might have to get creative to stay entertained though, seeing how boring this place can get," Junior mused as he looked up and stroked his chin.

Mandy stared at her son for a good long minute after that, debating the meaning of that statement, _'Given what he's done in one walk? I can't tell if that is a subtle threat or him honestly musing,'_ She thought to herself in aggravation. "Fine, you can keep taking walks, but why should I let you keep doing them in Hell? It's only a matter of time before the complaints eventually start rolling in once the rulers of Hell realize exactly who is messing around down there. Not to mention if the Devil himself gets annoyed with you," She continued.

"I thought you would appreciate a good war," Junior retorted with a grin.

"Not one I can't win." Mandy retorted.

"Oh, I see. You're only game to fight if there's no risk involved for you." Junior accused with a smirk.

"Are you calling me a coward?" Mandy asked daringly.

"I'm just repeating what you're saying. If that's what it sounds like, maybe you should recheck what you're saying," Junior retorted.

Mandy sighed at that, not able to believe she was actually losing this argument to Junior, "Putting the danger you're getting yourself into aside, you're getting Minnie into trouble as well," She pointed out.

"Ohh, is the big bad Bitch Queen worried?" Junior asked teasingly.

"Do I need to put you in the dungeon?" Mandy asked, starting to get too annoyed.

"Kinky." Junior retorted without pause.

"...I walked right into that one," Mandy admitted with an almost amused sigh as she started to drink straight from the bottle.

"Yes, yes, you did." Junior said in a mock sympathetic tone as he patted her on the back. "As for Ragdoll? Eh, I think after everything she went through-getting ripped apart, sent to heaven, captured by an ex-cross-dressing lobsterman, finally sent back down here, and eaten by her own tentacle monster- you can probably treat her like an adult. Besides, she's got the body for it now," Junior pointed out.

"That's actually my next point. You do realize it's going to take her a while to be able to fight properly with that large of a rack, right?" Mandy asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Honestly? I was more worried about her being sad about not being able to be a ballerina due to the same reason. But you do raise a point. A point that I am passing the buck on, to you," Junior said bluntly.

"Why should I?" Mandy asked curiously.

"Because you're a formal mortal assassin- or, I'm assuming that you didn't rely on your immortality before becoming the Queen Bitch," Junior said with a shrug.

"...I think you got that backwards," Mandy said with a twitching eyebrow.

Junior shrugged, "Either way, you're the best person above Hell to teach Ragdoll how to fight with large cargo to worry about and no powers," He pointed out in an entirely obvious tone.

Mandy blinked, twice, before she collected her thoughts, "...That is...surprisingly well thought-out, if crassly put," She admitted.

"Despite claims to the contrary, I'm not an idiot," Junior said with a smirk as a pregnant pause came over both of them, "Well, this is getting boring," He said with a sigh.

"Was there even a reason you came with me or did you want to get drunk and annoy me?" Mandy asked curiously.

"I wish I was drunk. This stuff isn't doing anything for me," Junior said with a pout as he laid his chin over the open top of the empty bottle, "But, yeah, I did have a reason, beyond the obvious," He answered with a shrug.

"What's the obvious?" Mandy asked with a raised eyebrow. Junior gave her a blank look. A completely blank look. It was the same look that she always gave Grim or Billy when they were being stupid beyond all logic and reason. She didn't like getting that look. At all. "...Stop it," Mandy murmured after two solid minutes of _**The Stare**_.

"We're drinking, in your bedroom, on your bed," He said flatly.

"It's going to take a lot more than killing fifteen dozen demons in one night to get in my pants," Mandy informed, just as flatly.

"Challenge accepted," Junior retorted.

"...I might start to like this attitude after all," Mandy said in a curious tone. "Be nice having a reaper with a more consistent spine around anyway," She added on with a shrug.

"Eh, I think Dad's spine has been healing up ever since you married him. Seriously, your cunt-honey some kind of poison that slowly heals reapers?" Junior asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm not even going to respond to that," Mandy said in finality, shaking her head lightly, "Also...what was the other reason?" She asked, changing the subject.

"What else? I wanted to make sure the Ragdoll got a sexy wardrobe!" Junior said with a smirk.

"Seriously?" Mandy asked, getting a proud nod, "Why?"

"Well, if she's going to be taking walks wi-" Junior started.

"No, I mean why did you have to make sure?" Mandy asked with a raised eyebrow, gesturing to her normal attire as Queen of the Underworld, "I dress like this on a normal basis, what makes you think my daughter is getting anything less appealing?" She pointed out.

Junior blinked before grinning, "Well, for the first time today, you have a point. Still, if she is going to be walking with me, I'd like some input," He answered perversely.

"Sure, but most of the outfits will take a while, given how every I have currently is two sizes too small for her." Mandy pointed out with a shrug, "What was the point of that, really? Did you just want to one up me through Minnie?" Mandy asked with a light glare- light for her anyway.

"Technically, I two upped you, twice at that." Junior retorted with a smirk, "And speaking of those Fuck-Sized Cups; You know how to make breast plate armor that jiggles?" He asked, curious and hopeful.

"What makes you even think that exists?" Mandy asked with a raised eyebrow.

Once again, Junior gave her _**The Stare**_, condemning her intelligence to an abysss beyond Hell for making such an absurd inquiry, and making her feel like she was as stupid as Billy. It was even more unpleasant the second time. "Mother, what part of _"I. Got. Favors. From. __**Lilith."**_do you not understand?" Junior asked slowly, as if talking to a child.

Mandy gave an awkward cough at that; If she had been any less of a bitch, she would have blushed right then and there, "One of these days, you are going to explain that to me in detail...explicit detail."

"Do I get a gun if I write it down for you?" Junior asked with a chuckle.

"Yes," Mandy answered instantly.

Junior blinked and looked at his mother with wide eyes as she stared intently into his, "...I was joking," He pointed out, his green eyes turning back into their regular heterochromatic colorings from pure surprise.

"I wasn't," Mandy retorted seriously.

Mother and Son starred at each other for a long time, as if daring each other to make the next move...

*KNOCK*KNOCK*

"Saved by the bell," Mandy murmured before calling to the person outside, "Enter."

"Umm, Mother? Brother? Tis be a bad time?" Minnie asked uncertainly as she stuck her head in through the door.

"No, no, it's fine," Junior assured with a grin. "We were just talking about your breas-Ow," He added on with a grin, only for Mandy to slam her nearly-empty bottle into Junior's head, shattering it on impact.

"What is it?" Mandy asked simply and directly.

Minnie blushed nervously as she kept struggling to keep her gaze off the floor, "Ummm, Mother? Doth thou hath any undergarments I might borrow? Mine are...lacking in quantity to properly cloth me," Minnie requested.

"..." Mandy just sat there for a moment, not reacting at all.

"Mother?" Minnie called curiously.

"I was waiting to see if he would make a commando joke," Mandy explained, pointing to Junior as Minnie blushed again.

"No, I already made one back in Hell. I try not to use the same joke too many times in one day," Junior explained.

"I'm sure. As for my underwear, help yourself," Mandy answered, waving to her drawer, "Though, I'm not sure I have anything that can handle your breasts," She warned.

"Well, not many dickable-sized bras can handle fuck-sized funbags," Junior reasoned thoughtfully, blinking as he heard a click. He turned in time to Mandy aiming a gun to his forehead...

*BANG!*

...before he flew off the bed and fell to the floor with a bullet in his head.

"Mother!" Minnie yelled as she gapped in shock, Mandy just casually blowing the smoke off her gun's tip, "Why...How...You-!" Minnie started, unable to form words as she rushed to kneel at his side.

"Relax, he's already undead. It'll take more than a bullet to the head to kill him," Mandy assured apathetically.

"Mother, he's not moving! The wound isn't healing!" Minnie yelled as the green blood started to pool over the floor.

"He's just trying to mes-"

"Brother!" Minnie yelled in despair as Mandy snapped her head around to see Junior's skin dissolving away to show just bones with one grey eye. Minnie started to yell in Nergal tongue as she desperately hugged Junior's skeletal body to her breasts, Mandy slowly turning to approach them, starring down at Junior's unmoving body.

_'Did...Did I have anti-demon bullets in that clip?'_ Mandy asked herself numbly, _'I...Did I?...I didn't...'_

"Brother...please wake up," Minnie begged as she lowered her head while Mandy slowly brought up her gun to examine it...only to blink and catch the mangled bullet that came flying to her head with her free hand.

"That was actually my first bullet wound," Junior commented idly as he rubbed his head, his skin rippling back into existence.

"Brother!" Minnie yelled in happiness before sighing in relief...and pulling him back to rapidly smack him back and forth across the face with tears in her eyes, "Never play such a cruel and foul jest upon us again!" She ordered angrily.

"...I deserved that," Junior admitted with a shrug after Minnie had stopped and released him, "Ahh, yes, those Funbags were definitely worth that favor," Junior said appraisingly as Minnie glared at him, slapping him upside the head once more.

Mandy just sighed and lowered her gun, "In case you forgot, Minnie, your brother here is a Reaper-"

"Demon-Reaper," Junior corrected offhandedly.

"Whatever," Mandy said with an eye roll, "Either way, just because he's got flesh and blood now doesn't mean he's any more mortal than before," Mandy continued, pretending to have not been worried about her jackass of a son.

"A-aye, Mother, I apologize for mine outburst. I am...still in shock over many of the happenings of mine brother that I have laid witness to on this day...I am still in the process of acknowledging the reality of some of them," Minnie apologized meekly as she rose from her knees.

"I've already pinched her several times just to remind her she's not dreaming," Junior added with a grin.

"In a handful of places not meant for pinching," Minnie murmured with a scarlet blush.

Mandy sat there with a twitching eyebrow before she sighed and closed her eyes, "Junior, this isn't a request. _Take a walk,_ **NOW!**" Mandy ordered, not even looking at him.

"Happily, Your Majesty!" Junior cheered with a maniacal grin and green slit eyes as he ran out the door.

"I'm going to regret that in a few hours, I just know it," Mandy said with a sigh as she sat on the bed before blinking as she found a note next to her. She raised an eyebrow as she saw the title: **List of Outfits to get Ragdoll.** While the card was small, there were still over two dozen listed, "Now, Minnie, about your new wardrobe?" Mandy called, using the card to hide the smirk from Minnie...

**Omake**

Junior grinned as he appeared in...Seriously? You picked the land of Milk and Honey for this?

"Hey, I got to have some backup leverage for when I run into Mimi again," He reasoned with a shrug before grinning at the fourth wall, "Hello fuckers! Today I'm here to answer some reviews. Why? Because Grim Tales has such a small fanbase that the Author rarely ever gets double digit reviews per chapter, so it's easy to do this without taking too much story space. That's not an insult to you guys and gals, that's just a numberical fact," Junior explained.

It's numerical, not numberical.

"Really don't give a flying fuck AK," Junior said bluntly, flipping the Author the bird. "And speaking of flying fucks, let's start with DPSS's review!" He cheered and smirked wickedly as he read it, "Why am I like this? Oh, I don't know. Fame, notoriety, a desire to stand out from the crowd?...A wicked sense of humor," Junior answered with a cackle.

You so stole that from Arkham Asylum.

"So? You're the one who talked about putting me IN Arkham Asylum- both the place and the game," Junior countered with a grin, "As for tariqbate's "I LOVE IT!"? Thanks! I might love you too if you're a girl!" He joked grin.

Stop flirting with the fans and get on with it!

"Ohh, shut it! I'm getting to it. Now, onto Wanderer21...That reminds me, I got to meet the sexy versions of the Colossi from Shadow of the Colossus!" Junior remembered, licking his lips lustfully, "As for a Casanova version of Junior...Isn't that kind of what I am already?" Junior asked curiously.

Well, you're less Casanova and more "crazy that gets laid". I think he means more like a smooth playboy and less like Son of Joker.

"Ahh, point taken. Well, the Author has a lot of ideas, so who knows?" Junior said with a shrug, "Now, onto one of our oldest and most faithful reviewers, Nightmaster000! Lemons. Off screen? They're a given. On screen? So-so," Junior assured, "Don't worry, you'll get plenty of pervy goodness in either case! Now for another faithful, Detrametal."

I'd just like to say thanks to this one.

"Hehe, I think that's the first time anyone called AK a God." Junior said with a chuckle, "And I hope to keep making you laugh, stare in shock with jaw on the floor, or leaving you all like I do many people- shocked and confused. And in women's cases, strangely aroused." Junior said proudly.

Stop. Flirting! I'm pretty sure 99.9% of GT fans are guys!

Junior sighed, "Unfortunately, you're probably right. Anyway, onto a new revie- Wow that's a big one! I knew Kenju and coldblue made big reviews, but wasn't expecting a new guy with a long review!" Junior said with wide eyes.

You complaining? Cause I'm not!

"Nope, just surprised I drew out any new fans." Junior said with a shrug, "Now, Mister Zyber Elthone, I'm currently in the process of getting a Tumblr account. I'm thinking of going with Reaping Fucker, but if we might come up with something else- not many badass nicknames for a Reaper. Plus, Reaping Fucker is just fun to say!" Junior commented with a shrug and a grin, "As for Mimi? Well, I've prepared for her- or I hope so at least. Though, I wouldn't mind if me and her...tore up a room together," Junior mused with a smirk, "As for Chi? Don't know who that is yet. If she's Mimi's girlfriend, I hope I can work a threesome in! And the author would like me to remind you that my universe is not an exact copy-paste of Hellsing Ultimate Abridged- they just have similar events sometimes." Junior explained with another shrug.

Well, only one left. Kenju...

"..."

...

"...Kenju, you are a fucking blasphemer for not watching Hellsing Ultimate Abridged, let alone not doing it before reading this," Junior said bluntly before sighing, "Okay, got that out of my system. I'm glad this entertained you a bit. As for Red Guy? I'm going to spend all week trying to get rid of the taste of his soul. And yes, he does make HIM seem evil in comparison. All things are relative. As for Minnie's form...I and the Auther may or may not have been inspired by the April fools page, yes," Junior answered, not making eye contact with the wall and grinning impishly, "And yes, my tentacles were involved with Lilith. The details are for you all and my mother to torment your minds over trying to figure out! And don't bring Shinji Ikari into this! Just...just don't. Please. Hope to see ya next time ya Blasphemous Fucktard!"

**End of Reviews**

You HAD to end it on that note, didn't you?

"If he watches Ultimate Abridged, I might consider changing his name," Junior answered simply.

You...you're going to give nicknames to all my reviewers, aren't you? -.-;

"Maybe," Junior acknowledged with a shrug, "So, anything else before we wrap this up?"

How about the _**Meeting of the Juniors**_?

"Ohh, right! People, me and several other version of me, published and unpublished, will be having meetings over in the Grim Tales Prompts and Oneshots story-collection! I'm not sure who all will be there, but I know I will be and so with** Raging Demon-Reaper **Junior! So come watch the chaos bitches!" Junior announced, "Speaking of Chaos, I need to go bone a few goddesses," Junior mused idly.

Keep on track, we're almost done.

"Right, Right. Well, the author seems to enjoy writing me so much, he thinking about doing spinoff with me. Like me taking Batman's place in the **Arkham Asylum** Game."

Or you taking Joker's and Mandy taking Batman's.

"She can try and lock me up anytime," Junior said, making a lustful growl as he shivered in delight.

You are by far the freakiest Junior I have ever written.

"And that's why you love writing me! Well, I hope you all enjoyed this and I hope everyone gets laid tonight!" Junior cheered, "Oh and everyone thank the Beta being the Author's Grammar Nazi!" He added on with a grin, "Now, all of you leave, I need to take a leak in this river of honey. Yes, I'm an ass, deal with it! Now unless you're a chick, buzz off!"

Will Junior ever get into Mandy's pants? Is he prepared for Mimi? What outfits will Minnie have to endure? What will happen on his next walk?(No, the land of Honey isn't his walk) And should Junior be in Arkham Asylum? And I mean that last question in every way it can be asked.

P.S. The "We were talking about your breasts" line is from an anime series, The Ambitions of Oda Nobuna, that I am also debating putting this or canon Junior into for the hell of it. Or dragging the girls from there into GT, either way.

P.S.S. I am considering doing this "Characters answer the reviews" for the rest of my GT series. That is all.


	3. Today, I Snacked, IN LIMBO!

Hell Sings for Death!

Disclaimer: I Don't Own Grim Tales, Hellsing Ultimate, Hellsing Ultimate Abridged, or anything else that shows up here.

REVIEW RESPONSE AT THE BOTTOM

AN: A lot of Dante's Inferno stuff for Hell, but I'm adding stuff from other universe and some of my own bits here and there.

Today, I Snacked, IN LIMBO!

The landscape of Hell is never a welcoming one, no matter what circle it is. On the burnt shores of the river Acheron, the very edge of Hell, resides the souls of the Angels that chose neither side in the rebellion and the souls of mortals who did equal amounts of good with their evil. They were doomed to remain here, never to be claimed by heaven nor hell. Also here were the freshly damned, falling from the dark clouds like rain, unwillingly waiting to be taken on the journey down the river, to their final damnations, by the boatman Charon...

"I'm back, bitches!" Junior cheered with a wide grin as he jumped out of a portal and landed on the deck of Charon's large ship, the demonic crew looking at him briefly in shock before looking relieved that they weren't being attacked and paling over who it was.

"Back already, _**Grim**_?" Charon asked darkly from up on the stern, looking down through his own hooded cloak at the boy.

"Hey Ron!" Junior greeted with a toothy grin and his green, slit eyes glinting as he jumped up to the railing, "You should really think about a new wardrobe. My old man pretty much has that look trademarked. He might sue you," Junior warned, sounding completely serious.

"Why is it you keep using my boat to get into Limbo?" Charon asked in annoyance, glaring at the terror of a child.

Junior tilted his head in mock confusion, "That's obvious, Ron. If I swam in the river, I'd never get out. I'd just stay there eating all the souls floating about, and drinking everything else in the process, until the river ran dry, and then no more boat rides for anyone," He explained simply.

"That's not what I...never mind," Charon said, giving up with a sigh, "I take it Lilith...fixed up your ragdoll?" He asked, begrudgingly making conversation.

Junior grinned at that, spinning around to sit on the railing, kicking his legs back and forth, "Oh, yeah and gave her upgrades too! A height extension, two fuck-sized breasts, and one Tartarus of an ass sweetening! I'm talking _'jelly-filled donut with cake icing, Coolwhip sprayed on, sprinkled with chocolate chips, and a cherry on top' _kind of sweet!" He explained lecherous, licking his lips.

"_**Grim**_, don't tease the damned," Charon scolded, pointing down to the latch of metal bars that showed the interior of the ship, where the souls were kept in cramped corners while they were taken across the river, screaming and begging for mercy and forgiveness the entire way. Currently, they were now all groaning hungrily, or lustfully, over Junior's choice of words, "They're already annoying enough when they're trying to convince me that them being here is a mistake, let alone begging me for a last meal or something," Charon explained.

"...Can I borrow your ship and a shipment of souls for a few hours?" Junior requested.

"I don't know what you're thinking, but the answer is no," Charon answered, quickly and warningly.

"I promise to bring it back in one piece!" Junior assured with a grin.

"The answer is still no," Charon retorted, turning away to head back to the wheel.

"And I still promise to bring it back in one piece." Junior repeated mischievously, Charon stopping dead in his tracks.

"...You're going to steal my ship, aren't you?" Charon asked blankly, almost resigning himself to the fact. He raised an eyebrow at the lack of answer, or even a chuckle, prompting him to turn around and find the hybrid no longer there, "Reaper?" He called, looking around curiously.

"It's Demon-Reaper!" Junior yelled, Charon's head shooting up to seem him at the top of the mast, hanging off the vacant flagpole as a half-dozen scythacles shot out of his right arm to grab a soul out of mid-air, having fallen from the black skies above, before starting to actually eat it, the soul screaming in terror and agony as blood dripped down onto the ship, "Ahh, this is why I love Hell. It's like Chewandswallow for me: Everywhere I go, it's raining snacks!" He declared with a happy sigh as he grabbed another out of the air, "Ohh, this one's a heretic! Tasty!"

"Boss, why do we put up with him?" The Minotaur at the steering wheel asked curiously as the boy went on snacking.

"Because the first and only time we tried to get rid of him, he ate half of the damned souls loaded on board while keelhauling the rest, after he locked us in the brig," Charon explained with a twitching eyebrow.

"Was I sick that day?" The Minotaur asked, scratching his nostril in confusion.

An undead and midget-sized monkey-man leapt up to the stern, "Naw, Max. That was the day you got left behind. Remember, you found a spider demoness that tried to eat you the morning after?" He reminded with a grin.

"Ahh, right, thanks for reminding me Jack." Max the Minotaur said sarcastically, "I still got the bite marks..."

"You should probably have that looked at," Junior said, wiping off his face as he jumped down and landed on the stern railing next to Jack, making the monkey jump and fall backwards onto the deck.

"I'm alight! Just snapped my neck!" Jack assured, cracking it back into place," Ahh, that's better."

"And when was the last time this thing got proper maintenance?" Junior asked curiously, feeling the wood creek under his feet.

"We can be very cheap down here in Hell," Charon admitted, sounding legitimately depressed about that, the various hellions manning the ship nodding to themselves in agreement as Max patted his captain's back in sympathy.

Junior hummed as he jumped down to the deck, landing on his feet, "Huh, that's too bad. Mom never has trouble spending money on stuff she finds important. And if she were in charge down here, I'm pretty sure she'd find this boat important," He mused absently.

"I'm not helping you make your mother Queen of Hell just to get my boat fixed," Charon said blankly as they approached the shores of Limbo.

"Pft! Like I'd help that bitch take these pits!" Junior retorted with a smirk as he ran to the front of the boat, "This is my playground! She can keep her tight, sexy ass up in the Underworld!" He declared as he ran up the bowsprit, jumping off and using his scythacles to grapple up onto a broken-ended walk way.

"I hate that boy," Charon said with a sigh.

"Ahh, good old Hell. Charon's boat may look like shit, but this crumbling look really works for the Pit itself," He said fondly before chuckling. "Well, that and Old Scratch has the sinners do all the labor to repair the place, just to add salt to the wounds," He mused, whistling as he made his walk through Limbo, thunder and wind in the air- not Lustful winds, but a good breeze all the same,_ 'Huh, now that I think about it, the wind here is probably just the died-down winds from the second circle,'_ He mused thoughtfully

"You shouldn't talk so disrespectfully of The Devil down here, boy," A voice called. Junior smirked as he perceived a female soul kneeling on the walk way, naked and a bit withered, but still decidedly feminine, "The demons don't take kindly to it...," She warned.

"Good, then I have an easy way to provoke a banquet, Electra," He retorted simply, grinning toothily as her eyes widened.

"Who are you, child?" She asked, fear in her voice.

"I, Miss Matricide, am Grim Reaper Junior, The Fuckmothering Demon-Reaper. Devourer of Afterlives, Souls, and Women," He introduced, sprouting his scythacles and axe tail.

"...You are too young to know the ways of the flesh," She said blandly.

"Really? Out of all of that to nitpick, you pick the part about my sex life?" He asked with a chuckle as the scythacles retracted, but the tail remained, "In any case, I just had a snack, so you're in luck."

"Luck? How is it luck to remain here, in this place, for avenging my father's murder?" Electra asked bitterly.

"Hmmmm, I may be back for you later," Junior informed thoughtfully as he walked off, heading up the winding tower. He didn't even look surprised as he passed a group of Unbaptized babies, with blades for arms, tearing into the corpse of a minion, nibbling on the meat, "Awww, you guys are adorable," He said with a grin as he passed by and his tail swatted them over the edge, sending them screaming into the mist below, "Oops, sorry! My bad!" He called over the edge before looking up, seeing Minos in the distance, tinkering with the spiked wheel he used to send the damned down to further circles, "Hey, Orochi! Your spinner broke again?!" He called over to the Judge.

**"Oh, shut it you gluttonous, Ammit wannabe! My tail isn't what it used to be!" **Minos yelled back in aggravation, the sharp device suddenly spinning and cutting his finger, **"Son of a Mare!"**

"Ohh, don't be like that, Judge!" Junior called playfully, "It's not my fault your brain is still all fucked up!" He countered, ducking as a large piece of stone went flying over his head, "But your aim is as good as ever," He muttered in praise as the stone fell out of its hole and down into the pits below, "Huh, maybe he's still mad about last time when I ate all those souls before he could judge them," He mused as he continued strolling up the tower.

**"Hey, brat! Who are you!? You're not supposed to be up here!" **A guardian demon called as Junior approached a door near the top of the building. Guardian demons were humanoid demons with goat legs, large horns and black fur who normally wielded a large axe. Their heads came in various animal shapes though. The most common was human followed by goat, which this loudmouth had. They were a bit higher up the food chain than the average demon. Currently, there were six of them with three times as many minions jumping about, all on the walk way,** "Get back down there with the rest of the damned!" **The guardian captain, wearing a golden helmet unlike the rest, ordered with a glare.

"Lot of security for one of Limbo's towers," Junior commented idly, ignoring the small horde, "I wondered what old Luci has hidden up here?" He asked out loud.

**"You pest! We'll rip out your insolent tongue for speaking of his Unholiness in such away!" **A human-faced Guardian yelled as he and half the minions charged forward with their weapons held high. Every weapon hit their target, the daggers of the minions slicing into his small torso, stomach, arms, and legs while the guardian's axe slammed halfway into his head. They started to grin and chuckle sickly at the boy's mutilated body. However, the guardian's stomach turned as he realized something was wrong...the blood was green instead of red.

"No dice!" Junior exclaimed as countless scythacles came out of his back while his right arm turned into large Nergal tentacles, all instantly ripping into the twenty enemies attacking him. With a small grunt, he pulled out the axe from his head, even as the minions and guardian screamed in terror and agony, begging him to stop as he started to tear out their souls with the scythes and feeding them to the large mouth that formed on his right arm-tentacle, leaving a mangled mess of bodies in front of him.

**"Wha-! You're no human!"** The guardian captain roared in shock and anger, **"And no Hellion would speak so crassly of The Devil. You must be one of those Underworldian bastards!" **He snapped hatefully.

"Correct-amundo!" Junior answered as his skull fully healed, "Now, be a good little boy and run off to Mama Lucy and Daddy Minos before you hurt yourself," He said dismissively, as if talking to a pack of children.

**"I'm going to enjoy ripping you apart, Sheolic Rat!" **The captain sneered as the remaining demons prepared to fight him.

Junior shrugged at that, "Have it your way," He commented, slamming his tentacle arm down on the walk way before de-Nergalizing it, making a large chunk of it start to crumble. Junior casually jumped onto the wall, holding on it with claws on his hands and feet, as it fell away with his enemies on it, crashing down two flights down. Junior had the scythacles in his back shoot down and pierce through all of the demons, except for the captain and two minions. Though, Junior did swipe the helmet, "Sweet, bonus item," He joked to himself as he pulled up the goat-shaped helmet and put it in his ribcage.

**"You brat, I'll get you for this!"** The captain yelled up at Junior from far below.

"Hey, buddy? I wouldn't stand there," Junior warned offhandedly, turning around and using some tentacles to stab into the wall from his back to keep himself suspended, "These corpses I have strung up are leaking a _**LOT **_of blood," He pointed out.

**"What's your point?!"** The captain asked with rage in his voice.

"How about the hundreds of hungry, unbaptized babes coming your way for a fresh snack?" Junior asked as the clinking and clanking of many blades on stone got very loud very quickly.

**"...Oh Devil save me," **The captain said in despair, he and the minions now weaponless as the babes, crammed tight on the walkway with many falling off the edge ran straight at them from both sides.

Junior hummed as he listened to their screams of agony as the babes piled on top of them to slice up their flesh and eat it, "Geez, it still surprises me how much the demons in the Underworld and Hell can still hate each other so much. It's almost been three thousand years," He mused absently before shrugging as he started to eat a minion's body. "Oh well, that just means more souls for me to eat. Hmmm, and the meat don't taste half bad either," He commented, blinking as he looked down and saw the babes were now trying to jump up at the dangling corpses.

With a shrug, he dropped all but four of them, keeping the souls but not the bodies. The corpses fell onto the horde of demonic infants, sending many of the young damned over the side, "Wow, these kids have horrid luck around me for some reason," He commented as he crawled over to the large, iron, slide-up door. With some effort, he pushed it upwards and flung the remaining bodies in before jumping in as well.

Leaving the corpses of minions in the corner, he hummed a little tune as he examined the room. It was a large, circular room that almost reminded Junior of a lighthouse, except it had no windows. In the middle of it was a circular platform with four metal rods on the edges. In between them was a small, purple rift, "Now what do we have here? A quick-portal to the Circle of Lust?" Junior wondered as he jumped up and looked into the portal, blinking at what he saw inside. "...Huh, and here I thought I wouldn't see them for a few more days," He commented before turning around to his...snacks, "Well, best not let these go to waste before** I get my Hellcat,"** He said with a wicked grin as his eyes glowed green...

**Timeskip- Two Hours Later, Grimskull**

Mandy sighed contentedly as she sat on the balcony, drinking a glass of wine, having thoroughly embarrassed Minnie with several very risky outfits that barely qualified as clothes,_ 'Oh, I needed that to unwind. Watching my daughter blush and stammer over the idea of wearing a Slave Leia getup, the skimpier of Tameranian clothes, or a Fifth Element bandage outfit...ahh, few better joys as a mother than embarrassing your daughter,'_ She thought in her own 'special' brand of joy. While this may seem strange for her, it was mostly because the activity helped cure the growing headache Junior's new behavior had caused, _'Maybe Junior will get lost down there,'_ She thought, a bit hopefully...

And that was when the terminal in the bedroom went off, "I could...almost feel that coming," Mandy commented with a twitching eyebrow as she rose from her seat and headed to her terminal, "What is it Charles? Is Junior back already?" She asked in annoyance.

"Umm, no Ma'am. There's an intruder in the courtyard," Charles answered uneasily.

"That's it? One intruder? Why are you calling me?" Mandy asked, annoyed.

"Well...it's Mimi, the Daughter of HIM, and..." Charles started, scratching the back of his head.

"And?" Mandy asked impatiently.

"...Honestly, Ma'am? She's not doing anything. She's just sitting in the courtyard, playing on her IPhone," Charles explained awkwardly.

"...Her IPhone?" Mandy asked blankly.

"Angry Birds, I believe," Charles elaborated needlessly.

"Why haven't you captured her already?" Mandy asked, annoyed.

"Well...every time we try, she just jumps out of the way...without ever looking away from the game," Charles explained, "I believe she is _"In the zone" _as they say," He added on, again, needlessly.

"I don't care if she's in the goddamn Twilight Zone!" Mandy snapped, startling her captain, before taking a deep breath. "I'll be down in a moment. And Charles? Stop staring at my breasts when you're giving me reports," She snapped, turning off the monitor and heading to her closet, "A queen can't even sit for five minutes in the nude, on her own balcony, without something coming up...," She murmured in annoyance.

Mimi, meanwhile, was sitting peacefully as she continued her game of launching birds at pigs, using her tail in lieu of fingers. By now, the guards had given up on catching her and were now huddling behind her to watch her play.

"Wow, this girl is really good," One of the skeletal guards said.

"Can someone tell me why the birds are angry, and what pigs have to do with it?" Another one asked, having never played the game.

"Well, its basic-" Yet another started, only to gulp as he noticed the Queen coming, "We're in trouble!" He informed, making them all turn in shock, making way for Mandy and standing at attention as she ignored them, strolled up to Mimi, and put a gun to her head.

"So, is there a reason I shouldn't kill you?" She asked bluntly, cocking the gun.

Mimi, never taking her eyes of the game, used one claw to pull an acme-styled sign out of nowhere, with a single word written on it: Junior.

"Of fucking course. What'd he do now, buy you off of your father?" Mandy asked with a sigh.

Mimi flipped the sign around, revealing another word: Yes.

"Right, no-" Mandy blinked as that registered, "Wait, what?" She asked in shock.

Mimi turned off the game suddenly and flipped her sign around a third time to reveal new words: Look uuuuuuup~! :p

Mandy did as the sign said, staring blankly as she saw a dot in the red sky that was steadily getting bigger. She hummed before taking five steps back, very calmly, and waited five seconds before the familiar corpse of a large spider fell right onto the guards that had been watching Mimi. The impact seemed to make Mimi bounce off the ground, and land right into arms of Junior, bridal style, who was sitting on the back of the giant arachnid, which Mandy also noticed was headless.

"Mommy! We're home!" Junior cheered with a grin, chuckling as Mimi licked his face, "And look what I brought home with me!"

Mimi, keeping an ever blank face, now held the sign with her tail and flipped it yet again: Yeppie! Master's here! Can he keep me, Queenie, can he?! ^/^

"..." Mandy stared for five solid minutes blinking before shaking it off, "I don't even know where to begin...but how about _**WHY **_Jeff is dead?" Mandy asked evenly, a bit curious on that bit.

"He was like this when I found him," Junior answered simply, "Speaking of which..." He added as two tentacles in his back lifted up and showed both Jeff's severed head and Jeff's disembodied soul, sleeping in a cage, "Huh, must have fallen asleep. Oh well," Junior mused with a shrug, making Mimi bounce in his arms lightly. "Oh, yeah. Well, I'd introduce you two, but you seem to already be getting acquainted before I got here," Junior murmured.

"That's my next question. _**WHY **_are they here at all? Did you help them escape? Because I'm not hiding them for you," Mandy said bluntly with a glare.

"Reel it back in, Sweet Cheeks. I didn't steal anything from Lobsterman, this time," Junior assured.

"...Oh my devil," Mandy commented as she face-palmed in exasperation, "You made a deal with HIM to get them, didn't you?" She asked plainly, feeling her headache returning tenfold.

"Yep. I got the better end of the deal in my opinion," Junior answered with a grin, Mimi burying her head into his neck and flipping the sign: Purrrrrrr. Purrrrrr. Purrrr.

"Okay, _**WHY **_were you even near HIM? I thought you were going off down to Hell for a walk, not around the Underworld?" Mandy asked, preparing herself for this clusterfuck.

"Well, I was just strolling through Limbo like a boss, minding my own business, not knocking babies off cliffs or anything like that, when I found a room up on one of the towers with a portal to the OTHER Limbo- Seriously, you guys have got to stop using the same names, it's bad enough we both have a Malebolge," Junior commented, pausing as Mandy raised her gun at him.

"Cut the bullshit, tell me what happened in the other Limbo," Mandy ordered in annoyance, her brow twitching.

"Fine! Geez, cool your Dickable Cannons!" Junior ordered, Mimi smirking as she switched the sign yet again: Roflmao! ^o^ "Anyway, I grabbed a bite to eat real quick, and then jumped through to have a chat with our favorite neighborhood Lobsterman..."

_Flashback, in the other Limbo_

_HIM glared down at his silently weeping daughter, in a white straightjacket, as she stared at the severed head of Jeff the Spider, "Jeff's betrayal nearly cost me and I am in need of a replacement," He informed in a cold, angry voice, holding up his stump for effect, "I am granting you a chance to 'redeem' yourself to me. Do this and all will be forgiven. I will even get you that tricycle you wanted so much," He offered cruelly as he leaned down to grasp her chin, "See Mimi? Am I not merciful?" He asked evenly, glaring as she continued to silently weep, __**"AM I NOT MERCIFUL?!"**__ He yelled in her face. Mimi glared, about to bite him..._

_"Wow, cool your panties Emperor Lobsterman," A familiar voice called playfully, making everyone, even Jeff's soul that was now trapped in a small cage, slowly turn in surprise to the intruder. Not one of them wasn't shocked by the sight of Grim Reaper Junior, with slit green eyes, sitting on top of the nearby swing set with a grin on his face as he munched on the small, severed arm of a minion, "Hey Reds, how goes the child abuse?" He asked playfully, "Anyone want the rest of this arm before I eat it?"_

_"Grim Junior?" HIM asked, unable to hide his surprise at the sight of the boy, "How the Hell did you get back here?" He asked with a raised eyebrow._

_"Through Hell, actually," Junior explained offhandedly, turning to the soul of Jeff, "Sorry I'm late, Spidey, I stopped for a snack. Didn't think he'd behead you," He apologized with a shrug, "At least you can say you lost weight."_

_"Junior, you have to get out of here, now!" Jeff warned, his eyes wide in alarm and fear for the boy._

_"Relax, Spidey. Just start thinking about whether you want to be a cyborg, zombie, or zombie cyborg," Junior assured casually before turning back to HIM, "Now, Lobsterman, I believe we have something to discuss."_

_"Like what I'm going to do with your soul?" HIM asked dangerously. Though he wouldn't admit it, he was actually a bit worried. There was something very different about Junior's soul now, _'Barely a week ago, he was just a bright, caring reaper-boy with sibling jealousy issues. Now...his entire soul feels like a ball of insanity, and Devil knows how much Sin!' _He thought to himself, _'And he reeks of blood, too much blood. How can one boy do so much in less than seven days?!' _He asked himself, going wide eyed as Junior sprouted no less than one hundred scythacles from his back._

_"Actually, it's about Hellcat," Junior answered with a grin._

_"Who?" HIM asked, keeping his eyes on the scythe-tipped tentacles._

_"Your daughte," Junior elaborated, "I want her," He said bluntly, smirking suggestively. Mimi's tail perked up at that, watching the entire show with confusion and interest._

_"Well, it seems lust runs in the family," HIM said with a smirk, hiding his surprise when Junior nodded proudly to the statement, _'Okay, this is actually getting weird, even for me,'_ HIM thought with a sweatdrop, "Want her or not, I'm not going to just give her to you," He informed, "Any other day, I'd trade her for a sack of potatoes, but I need to pay her and Jeff back for their little betrayal," HIM explained smirking as he got an idea, "Unless...you'd rather get something for me, in exchange for her?" He offered sinisterly._

_"Sure," Junior answered with a shrug._

_"...Just like that?" HIM asked, blinking as Junior just nodded, "Are you still the same kid from Halloween?"_

_"With serious upgrades, yes," Junior answered with a grin as he jumped down,, "Now, shall we haggle for her?!" He suggested with a grin._

_"...Aren't you a bit young to be a pimp?" HIM asked with a smirk and a touch of humor._

_"Oh, is that the issue?" Junior asked as the scythacles circled around him rapidly, obscuring him from view for a moment before they unwound and revealed...a teenage Junior, standing just half-a foot shorter than the red demon, wearing a demonic Nergal-cloak with green fuzz-lining, pants that looked to be made of crocodile hide, a purple shirt, shades just like HIM's, a fedora with Nergal eyes decorating it, and a cane with a black-metal skull on the handle, "This work?" Junior asked with a smirk as Mimi's tail started wagging rapidly._

_"...Not bad for your first try," HIM admitted with a sweet drop, a bit weirded out now, "You said something about haggling?_

_"Ahh, right. You need a hand, right, Lobsterman?" Junior asked, getting a nod._

_"Why do you keep calling me that?" HIM asked blankly._

_"Would you prefer Crossdresser or Pimp Wannabe?" Junior retorted without missing a beat._

_"...Right, well, yes. In exchange of for my daughter, I want something of your mother's," HIM explained, trying to get back on track._

_"Oh, oh, don't tell me!" Junior said, grinning thoughtfully, "Well, you're too late for the virginity, obviously." Junior pointed out with a chuckle, "Her vibrators? The location of her sex dungeons? Her diary of complex fantasies of how to kill you? A copy of the sex tapes showing every time she's had sex wit-"_

_"No you-!" HIM yelled in annoyance, blinking as some of those things sunk in, "...Does she really have a diary of ways to kill me?" He asked curiously._

_"Well, not just you, but she does have a complete chapter dedicated to you," Junior explained with a shrug, "Wait, is this something in her vault?" He asked, scowling._

_"Yes, yes it is," HIM answered evenly with a nod._

_"And just like that, I've lost interest in what you want," Junior said blankly._

_"Because you don't think stealing from your mother's collection is worth saving Mimi?" HIM asked with a smirk._

_"No, because that room is__** soooooo**__ boring," Junior explained before sighing, "Look, I can see where this is going. You need a hand, right? Well, it just so happens I have a spare hand on me," Junior offered, still seeming...disappointed in HIM for going after something Junior considered boring._

_"It can't just be just any regular hand, Junior," HIM pointed out evenly._

_"Oh, come on! Do I look like someone who would cheat you on a deal?" Junior asked with a too-innocent grin._

'...So, this is what it feels like to be on the other side of this deal thing,' _HIM realized, not used to being on this end of these conversations, "Just what hand do you think is worth my daughter then?" HIM asked with a raised eyebrow. He'd normally trade Mimi for a nail, but that didn't mean he wouldn't try to get as much out of a deal as possible._

_"Trust me, you want this one," Junior assured before opening his mouth and sticking his entire lower-left arm into it, seemingly feeling around in search of something._

_"...Jeff, do you have any idea what's going on with that boy?" HIM asked to Jeff and Mimi._

_"Sorry, but I'm as stunned as you are, Sir," Jeff answered politely, despite his situation. Mimi, still in the straightjacket, just kept waging her tail._

_"Ahh, here we go!" Junior said as he pulled something out of his mouth._

_HIM looked at it curiously before he realized what it was, causing his eyes to nearly pop out of his head and his jaw to hit the floor, "That...! You...! Where...!" He started, unable to comprehend what he was seeing for a moment and completely losing his composure, __**"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU!?"**__ HIM asked to Junior._

"The Fuckmothering Demon-Reaper,"_ Junior answered with a grin, "So, we have a deal?" He asked temptingly as he held out his free right hand to shake HIM's claw._

_The Lord of Sin stared at the object in question for a good solid minute before giving his answer, "...Take her," HIM said with wide eyes as he stared at that object in question and shook Junior's hand, "Just...just take her, she's yours, done deal," He accepted, Junior tossing the item to him with a chuckle..._

_End of Flashback_

"You gave HIM a _'hand'_?" Mandy asked blankly, "...You didn't," She said with a twitching brow. In response Junior just smirked with a raised eyebrow, "...Fuck you," Mandy said before running into the castle and towards her vault.

"BWHAHAHAHA!" Junior laughed after she was well in the building. Mimi jumping out of his arms as Junior began to roll on his back, "Ohhh, I love today, it can't get better!" He cheered, settling down as Mimi, now missing her sign poked him with her tail, "Hmm?" He asked, looking up at the red-skinned girl, who pointed to Jeff's body, head, and soul with her claws, "Oh, right, right. Got to put him back together," Junior murmured as he picked up the caged soul, "Yo, Jef-fa! Wakey wakey!" He called, shaking the cage, startling the arachnid's spirit awake.

"Ahhh, what a good nap," Jeff said with a yawn, blinking as he saw where they were, "We're here already?" He asked in mild surprise.

"You have GOT to be one of the deepest sleepers I've ever met." Junior stated with a smirk. Mimi blinked as she held up the sign again: Of All Time? Junior grinned at that, "She gets it. You deserve a treat, Hellcat," Junior said, pulling out a muffin as Mimi gained stars in her eyes, now crouching in front of Junior on all fours, like a cat, her eyes trained on the muffin, "...Okay, Lobsterman was either an idiot or a dick. I tamed you in less than an hour without laying a claw or scythe on you," Junior commented dryly as he tossed it into the air, Mimi jumping after it and catching it with her mouth, holding it with her claws as she savored the treat.

"Well, you DID take her to the land of Milk and Honey and let her take a nibble of the _**Holly Muffin**_," Jeff pointed out, "So, Junior...what happened to you, if you don't mind me asking?" The dead spider asked curiously.

"Well, I was conceived, then ripped out of the womb, then had all my flesh removed, then reaped, then spent a year as an only child, then-" Junior started off conversationally.

"No, no, I mean why are you so much more...I'm sorry, but the best word I have is crazy. Why are you so much crazier than when we last met?" Jeff asked, a bit apologetically.

"Oh, no reason, I was just always crazy but buried it deep in my soul to pass the time as a bratty eleven year old because I was bored with not being able to do much," Junior explained.

"...Seriously?" Jeff asked with wide eyes at the apparent psychopath.

"Ya, Seriously?" Grim Senior asked, looking down at his son curiously.

"Maybe! I like to have options with my backstory," Junior answered cryptically.

"So...wut'd I miss?" Grim asked curiously, looking from Jeff's soul, to his body, then to Mimi, and back to Junior.

"Oh, not much. Went for a walk, got a pet, screwed with Mom by making her think I gave HIM Horror's Hand for Hellcat here, etc." Junior explained uncaringly.

"...Did ya?" Grim asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No, no, I just gave him one I happen to have with me at the time. I just wanted to see Mom's reaction. Worth it," Junior said with a grin, "Actually, Dad, you're just the guy I was looking for," He commented as he tossed Jeff's soul to Grim, who barely caught it, "Here, you're better at putting things back together than me- I work best with tearing stuff apart," The demon-reaper elaborated.

"An wut do ya expec me ta do wid him?" Grim asked blankly.

"I don't know! Turn him into zombie, cyborg, or even part-skeleton; I really don't care as long as he's back in one piece," Junior answered with a shrug, "Unless you want to see what I make on my first try at resurrecting a body instead of just putting a soul in a ragdoll..."

"Ya, ya, I get de picture," Grim said with a sigh, "A couple of ya twits pull yourselves together and move dis corpse inside!" He ordered to the guards under Jeff's body, their bones wiggling out as they reformed with a groan.

"Like I said, you're better at putting things back together," Junior commented with a chuckle as he watched the guards take Jeff's body inside, Mimi carrying the head and following after, "Huh, guess Hellcat's staying here for now," He mused, wondering what to do now.

"Hey Grim. Long time no see," Jeff greeted with a smile.

"Ya, haven't seen ya face to skull in ova a decade," Grim commented as he headed inside with the soul.

"So, how's Mom doing?" Jeff asked curiously, Grim chuckling at that.

"Well, Mandy is-" Grim started off, only to be interrupted.

_"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?" _Junior yelled as he raced towards them, jumping over Grim and Mimi, landing in front of them, "Did you just say that My Mom is your Mom!?" Junior asked with wide eyes.

"Umm, yes?" Jeff answered, a bit startled as Junior stared at him intently.

"It's a bit of a long sto-" Grim started, only for Junior to hold up his hand.

"Stop. Just _**stop**_. Nothing you tell me right now could possibly be better than what I'm thinking," Junior said bluntly as he blinked, letting this sink in, "I just...need to savor this for a moment...enough material to last me a century, with just one sentence. This deal cannot get any better than _**THIS**_!" He cheered before turning back to the spider-soul, "Jeff, you gave that to me. As a reward, you may call in one favor from me at any time. Use it carefully, _Brother,_" He said with a grin as he walked back out.

"Ummm, you're welcome?" Jeff said, very unsure.

"...Wha de fook jus happened?" Grim asked to Mimi, who shrugged, "...I'm jus goin to preten dis neva occurred," He decided with a twitch in his brow as they continued their walk.

**Omake/Review/Fourth-Wall-Breacking Section**

"Well, that was fun!" Junior cheered as he climbed up the side of the castle and to the balcony of his room, to avoid his mother who by now was no doubt looking to shoot him for the sheer stress relief.

A: Things are never simple with you, are they?

"Of course not! Much more fun to troll and/or eat everyone along the way!" Junior answered smugly, "No, onto the reviews! First up, we have a newcomer, named T-Biggz. Dude? While me and the author both love that you enjoy what I do, you're reading into the wrong webcomic if you find incest creepy."

A: I kind of have to agree with him on this. Any fic based on GT is going to deal with incest unless it's AU or takes Minnie out of the picture.

Junior coughed to get the attention again, "And plus? It's the damn underworld. My canon self may not have figured it out yet, but incest isn't a strange thing down here. So, no, I'm not going to stop lusting after that fine tail I have for a mom, nor do I find it weird any more," He stated firmly.

A: As for PPGD, I'm going to assume you mean Megaville- in case you're new to the series, GT and PPGD are not of the same timeline. Bleedman and his crew have been trying to get that across for years. But, yes, some things from Megaville will come into play. And Junior would freaking bust Joker out so they could go on some kind of horrible prank spree.

"I'd do it too," Junior said with a grin, "Plus, Gotham has some sweet tail of its own..."

A: Moving on! Remzal Von Enili...not sure if he's new or not, to be honest.

"As for dropping PS ties? AK has made longer, I believe," Junior answered with a shrug, "And yes, every FF author's dream is to have someone do fanart of their stuff. As for my Anderson? Ohh, I got a feeling it won't be too long. Besides, I might have more than one!" He pointed out with a grin, "After all, I now have Hellcat AND Ragdoll instead of just one Policegirl."

A: Yes, yes, we get it, you're a chick magnet, gloat all you want.

"Next guy is InsaneXAngel...AK, what's the ancient Hebrew word for Insane?" Junior asked curiously.

A: Meshuga.

"Seriously? Hmm, I'm going to call this guy Meshuga or Meshugael, the Angel of Insanity." Junior commented.

A:...I think your nicknames always sound either completely insulting or kind of epic.

"I'm a troll. That's how I roll," Junior joked, "And, Meshugael, I don't blame you- there is no one I'd rather be than me right now."

A: Okay, I might just make up an Angel of Insanity with that name for a fic, because the name alone is making me grin.

"Now, onto DPSS!" Junior called, "I feel like there is a Dipshit joke in that name."

A:...Admittedly, I reluctantly agree with that. Now, yes, eventually Junior will stroll beyond the realm of Hell. And yes, when he gets to other worlds he will, without exception, "get busy" with most of the females he meets when he's not killing something.

"As for your questions to me? Yes, I'll have at least one rival. I got a few good guesses on who it might be," Junior answered, eyeing the Author suspiciously, "As for my change? I'm actually the Nergaling and have killed Grim Junior's soul to take over his body and power and life," He answered with a smirk.

A: You expect them to believe that?

"No, but they can't say it's not true for sure! Like I said, Dipsy, I enjoy having options for my backstory!" Junior retorted with a chuckle, "Now onto Nightmaster000. To answer your questions in order: I have a LONG time to try and Mom has no incest issue- I'll get back into her womb eventually. I'll make sure Minnie gets sexy clothes, even if I have to dress her myself. As for what happened to me? I stood in front of Horror's hand."

A: Not even going to comment.

"Again, YES, I will have enemies that don't just instantly die. And thank you, we look forward to your reaction." Junior finished.

A: As for everyone else's POV? Eh, you'll get bits and pieces for now, but you'll get more of them later on.

"Now, detralmetal...Your name is now IronAss," Junior said with a wicked grin.

A: Because detra means behind, right?

"Bingo!" Junior confirmed, holding up two V signs with his fingers, "And don't worry, if you die from laughter, I'll be sure to come pick you up in person!"

A:...That is a creepily nice thing to say, in retrospect.

"What can I say? Despite the horrible, or awesome, nicknames I hand out, I love my fans!" Junior said with a shrug, "And, yes, my mother DEEPLY regrets telling me to take a walk now," He said with a shit eating grin, "She's especially going to regret it when I bust out all the jokes about the_ 'brother'_ she never told me about," He said diabolically.

A: Well, one more, Demon Blood Dragon Slayer.

"Hmmm, D.B.D.S. I'm sure I can make a joke out of that. Dragon Balls, Dick, and Shit?" Junior mused thoughtfully, "And I'm happy to entertain! Now, that's all for th-" Junior started, blinking as he heard a ringing noise. He looked around for a moment before pulling out an IPhone, "Oh, right, forgot I picked up Mimi's IPhone after she left with Dad." He commented to himself as he answered it, "Y'ello?" He answered.

"Huh? Who is this? Do I hit the wrong number?" A female voice called over the phone.

"If you're looking for Mimi, you got the right phone, just the wrong person," Junior answered with a chuckle.

"And WHY do you have her phone?" The voice asked suspiciously.

"She lost it," Junior answered with an unneeded shrug.

"Lost it?" She asked incredulously.

"Muffins were involved at the time," He answered simply.

"...Okay, that makes sense," She admitted with a sigh, "Where is she anyway?"

"May I ask for a name to go with the pretty voice first?" Junior asked with a grin.

"It's Chi," She answered with an added edge to her voice, "Now, where is Mimi, exactly?" She all but demanded.

"You know the spider, Jeff, right? He got injured and she's...tending to him, I suppose," Junior explained, getting an awkward silence following that, "Want me to deliver a message?" He asked.

"...No, just tell her I called..." Chi answered, a bit sad now.

"Kay. By the way, Chi? You're Mimi's carpet licker, right?" Junior asked with a smirk.

"...WHAT?!" Chi yelled in embarrassment.

"No one gets that sad or that bitchy, that quickly, over not getting to chat with someone unless you're related and/or in love with them. Well, that or they were dying, but Mimi's in perrrrrfect condition," Junior explained with a chuckle, "Anyway, I have some good news about Mimi that I'm sure you'll LOVE to hear," Junior started before she could recover from the embarrassed.

"...What is it?" Chi asked, calming down enough to hear this out.

"Well, it's about her father, HIM. You see he made a deal with someone regarding Mimi," He started out vaguely.

"...What kind of deal?" Chi asked with wide eyes, her voice shrinking in paranoia.

"Well-" Junior started only to blink, "I gotta go," He said, hanging up and jumping over the balcony just as his mother slammed the door open, glaring at everything before stomping off to find her asshole of a child.

AN Well, that's it folks. And yes, everytime anyone, in story or in reviews, asks Junior what happened to make him like this, he will always give a different answer. And no, Junior didn't give HIM Horror's Hand. What he did give is a surprise. Also, I was going to eventually have Junior yell "Bitch, I eat people!" at Chi, but...I think it was kind of funnier to leave Chi hanging like that, lol. Well, until next time!

PS The Omake section is actually canon, I've decided, its just the section of the chapter where all the big fourth wall breaking happens.


End file.
